How to Become a Rock God: Conclusion

I have beaten Rock Band.

Well, just with the guitar. And only on “Hard” mode. And only all by myself.

See, as the name implies, Rock Band wasn’t really designed to be played alone. The solo mode is amusing enough, but a bit anticlimactic and pared down. Touring from city to city, maintaining a fan base, participating in multi-song sets for the chance to win a private jet—all that stuff is in the multiplayer mode. And really, I played through the whole thing alone so quickly so that I could unlock more for online multiplayer with friends anyway. Playing online doesn’t have all that aforementioned multiplayer stuff either, but it is indeed more fun than playing alone.

There is, of course, plenty that can be done alone with this game to amuse oneself. I’m now sort of addicted to creating stupid little characters and outfits, treating my rockers like the residents of a doll house. Recent adjustments: “Jason” (created when Gen and I were modeling characters after ourselves) was renamed “Link” (because seeing my name onscreen was creepy, and reminded me of when I unknowingly renamed Link in some Zelda game and everyone was all, “Save the princess, Jason!”). I also attempted to rename “Link,” but I received this notice:

The name “Doc Cockatrice” is not what most would describe as “classy.” You can use this name locally, but it will not be visible on Xbox LIVE until it is changed.

Well then.

In my defense, I am simply a fan of mythical rooster-lizards. The character has since been dubbed “Doc Rockatrice” until I get around to renaming him again. Also, now he has a tattoo of a boat on his chest, something I have long insisted I would do just so when people ask me whether I was in the navy or a sailor or something I could reply, “No, I just like boats.”

I also created a character named “General Zod” (who sings) and I’m considering “Slam Chowder” for my next drummer. He will be from Boston.

I suspect you all are getting pretty tired of reading my endless thoughts on rock-based rhythm games, so I’m going to bring my series on this to a close. Not that my rock journey as ended, oh no—it was only tonight that I received my replacement guitar, so I must rock that much harder in order to test its fortitude. Wish me luck.

So when’re you going to start posting about classical music-based games?

Re: Classical Music-based games:
Oddly enough, Steph and I were just discussing how there should be a “Opera Star” video game. That would be mad-hard yo.

La Monte Young isn’t dead yet, maybe he’d be up for creating Dream House: The Game. I imagine minimalism would make for an easy rhythm game, but maybe there’s room for it in the casual gaming scene.

I was all excited when it was announced that Boom Boom Rocket would be a classical music game. Turns out it’s techno remixes of classic music. That doesn’t count.

How about ‘Doc Cocatrice’?

Well, I ended up renaming him Link (again) and decking him out in a green shirt, brown pants and boots, and a triforce tattoo on his shoulder. Is it overkill to write “MASTER SWORD” across his guitar and/or to put a “Zelda” tattoo on the opposite shoulder (across a heart with a knife through it)?

Maybe I’ll just start a separate “Link” character so I don’t feel bad when I inevitably change this one again.

Slam Chowder! BRILLIANT.

I don’t suppose there are aviator goggles in the accessories… I’ll have to investigate.

There ARE aviator goggles in the accessories, I believe. Also, steampunk goggles.

[…] 30, 2007 Posted by halfawake in Entertainment. Tags: rockband, xbox 360 trackback As others have noted, Rockband isn’t truly meant to be played alone. When you’re doing a solo singing tour, […]

Hmmm Kinda Weird You Plan On Naming A Character “Slam Chowder”, That Is The Name Of A Thrash Band That I Have Been Putting Together For A Long Time, Even Though I Dont Have Copyrights And All That Jazz For The Name I Would Really Appreciate It If You Dont Use That Name

Dear Lou the Sloth,

I have some notes in response that you may find useful.

1. This blog post is about a pretend band in a video game I play with a small group of nerdy friends, so no worries about us “making it big” and popularizing the name you want to use.

2. There is already a punk/death metal/christian rap band called “Slam Chowder,” based in Philadelphia, that claims to have been “slamming man-chowder since 1997!!!!” Check out their MySpace page. (Maybe this is you? Seems like they haven’t played since 2005 and they have kind of boring shirts, so I hope not.)

3. If you have been having trouble putting this band together for a long time, perhaps you would have more luck trying a different name. Maybe “Glam Chowder”? You could dress up in frizzy wigs and shiny clothes and sing Bowie covers in a Boston accent.

I wish you luck in your musical endeavors.