I have beaten Rock Band.
Well, just with the guitar. And only on “Hard” mode. And only all by myself.
See, as the name implies, Rock Band wasn’t really designed to be played alone. The solo mode is amusing enough, but a bit anticlimactic and pared down. Touring from city to city, maintaining a fan base, participating in multi-song sets for the chance to win a private jet—all that stuff is in the multiplayer mode. And really, I played through the whole thing alone so quickly so that I could unlock more for online multiplayer with friends anyway. Playing online doesn’t have all that aforementioned multiplayer stuff either, but it is indeed more fun than playing alone.
There is, of course, plenty that can be done alone with this game to amuse oneself. I’m now sort of addicted to creating stupid little characters and outfits, treating my rockers like the residents of a doll house. Recent adjustments: “Jason” (created when Gen and I were modeling characters after ourselves) was renamed “Link” (because seeing my name onscreen was creepy, and reminded me of when I unknowingly renamed Link in some Zelda game and everyone was all, “Save the princess, Jason!”). I also attempted to rename “Link,” but I received this notice:
The name “Doc Cockatrice” is not what most would describe as “classy.” You can use this name locally, but it will not be visible on Xbox LIVE until it is changed.
In my defense, I am simply a fan of mythical rooster-lizards. The character has since been dubbed “Doc Rockatrice” until I get around to renaming him again. Also, now he has a tattoo of a boat on his chest, something I have long insisted I would do just so when people ask me whether I was in the navy or a sailor or something I could reply, “No, I just like boats.”
I also created a character named “General Zod” (who sings) and I’m considering “Slam Chowder” for my next drummer. He will be from Boston.
I suspect you all are getting pretty tired of reading my endless thoughts on rock-based rhythm games, so I’m going to bring my series on this to a close. Not that my rock journey as ended, oh no—it was only tonight that I received my replacement guitar, so I must rock that much harder in order to test its fortitude. Wish me luck.