People responded a little too favorably to flipsiding for it to be very useful as an alternative to Rickrolling. I mean, heck, I knew I adored the Kidd Video theme song (“Video to Radio,” now the #1 Google result for “flipsiding”), but how could I have known that you lovable denizens of the intertron agreed with me?

And heck, even Rickrolling seems a little too good-natured to work as a prank, as far as I’m concerned. It’s like sending someone a postcard that’s secretly a candygram. In the tradition of pranks and jokes I grew up with, however, you send a candygram filled with black ink or electric eels. Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down? Enough of this touchy-feely BS.

Thus, in an attempt to effect more mischief, I have uploaded to YouTube the most heinous music video I have ever witnessed in my entire life. When I confronted this … this … thing with my comrades, I was overtaken by a sudden sense of illness. Dan was forced to shield his eyes. I think Tony blacked out the memory of the experience entirely. Its evil is so thick and viscous that I dare not even allow its name to ooze from my mouth. Let’s just say that witnessing this Lovecraftian spectacle, in a darkened room surrounded by parents and their innocent babes, made me fear the prospect of ever bringing a son or daughter of my own into a world where such a thing could be created.

Use this with extreme caution, and may God have mercy on my soul.