Back in 2006, I made a list of stuff I wanted but didn’t expect I could get for Christmas, for various reasons. Then I got my top choice on the list, to my surprise. A year ago, I figured I’d one-up that, and make an even more unlikely list for the sake of traditionâ€”and, somehow, I got three things off that one over the course of the year, including the ridiculously expensive one. This year, I don’t want to break the magic by listing things with the intent of actually getting them, so I’ve decided to continue the tradition with an extra dose of absurdity, unlikeliness, and downright contradiction. So, here we go.
Item: Set of special edition sci-fi books with cool covers
Reason I won’t get it: Â£5.99 a book may not sound like much, but there are eight books in that set, and they ship from the UK. Just seems like a lot to pay for paperbacks. Also, Amazon.co.uk has replaced packing peanuts with poison-tipped barbs.
Item: A PS3
Reason I won’t get it: I have pledged not to acquire this until after I get my degree. I won’t get the degree before Christmas. So there! (And anyway, I’m kind of waiting for Heavy Rain and the next game by the Ico people to come out.)
Item: Zener cards
Reason I won’t get it: I suppose I could print out my own set of black and white cards to test for ESP, but it would be nice to have a set that feels all nice and professionally made. Still, I suspect that potential givers would be concerned that this feels like a silly, cheapass gift, seeing as how it kind of is. I’m not even sure where you’d buy a set if you don’t feel like paying 18 bucks to also get a stupid book and a crystal ball. Most of all, though, I don’t think I’ll get these because I don’t even want to test for ESP; I thought I might use them for a game or something, and my loved ones are kind of sick of hearing me talk about recycling silly cards for gaming.
Item: Another game as good as Coachride to Devil’s Castle
Reason I won’t get it: I don’t know if any such game exists. Tony gave away a bunch of copies of this game (which was on last year’s Secret Christmas List), but has yet to refer to any other game as being comparably awesome.
Item: World peace
Reason I won’t get it: Ha ha! Let’s see you beat this year’s list, jerks.