A Winner Is Not Me

Continuing my fine tradition of only posting when I’ve created an embarrassing video for a video game-related contest (in this case, for a trip to E3 sponsored by 1up.com), I submit to you the following:

This entry did not win. This entry won. To be fair, Mr. McWinnerson had a precocious child, a mushroom costume, and public shenanigans. But then I’m pretty sure that I missed the finalists selection either because I violated the rules of the contest by using images that I didn’t have rights to, or because my video was in a page linked to from an otherwise sparse and unpersuasive blog post that was probably supposed to be the heart of the entry. Or because the video itself wasn’t available until the day after the contest ended. Psh, details.

Regardless, we all win when I make a fool of myself on the internet. Except for me. I remain a big, stinky loser who isn’t going to E3, and even worse, who just ate soap because he didn’t rinse his lunch bowl out well enough.

I liked your video, Kai. (Though I am a little surprised you learned nothing from that Talk Soup Burgermobile contest. Deadlines, man!)

On the bright side, at least this photo will be more likely to show up when people search for your name on Google Image Search.