The arrival of June brings with it another dose of Doom:

Animal Kingdom

• Genetically modified monkeys that glow green and pass the trait on to their offspring could aid the fight against human disease. Also scientists just really like to make animals glow in the dark.
• A Chinese cat has grown wings! Once again, humans lose another step in our attempt to stay ahead of the evolutionary curve. Curse Darwin for ever inventing evolution!
• Animals can tell right from wrong. Scientists studying animal behavior believe they have growing evidence that species ranging from mice to primates are governed by moral codes of conduct in the same way as humans. Further proof that sharks are assholes. 

Weekly Tips: Preparing for The Apocalypse

• Step 1: Acclimate yourself to eating the flesh of the walking dead with this Zombie Gelatin Mold from ThinkGeek!
• Step 2: Make sure your 10 month old baby has a gun permit—offer only valid in Illinois. 
• Step 3: Hunt down and destroy these 6 modern day robots that are itching for an uprising. 

Internet Happenings

• Wikipedia bans the Church of Scientology. In a high level meeting attended by only the top dungeon masters in the world, Wikipedia’s Arbitration Committee—or ArbCom—voted to ban Church of Scientology members from editing Wikipedia. Now without an Internet home, Tom Cruise is left to personally—personally—wander IRC channels spreading the good word.  

Comic Bookery

• Marvel Comics hopes to appeal to young girls, not part of their traditional fan base, with a new series of comics in which the main character are models who solve crime!  The covers of the issues will be modeled after the covers of fashion magazines and generally serve to alienate the few female readers Marvel already has. Editor-in-chief Joe Quesada promises that no matter what, Marvel will not resort to hiring an actual female employee in its attempts to understand the demographic.