Once more we keep you informed on the latest developments in robotics, wild life, computing, and human misery that foreshadow the end of the world:

Aquatic Life – Are you living every week as if it was shark week?

• A rider on the Miami Metro reported encountering a shark on the floor of the train, alive but not doing so great. Police later found the body of a nurse shark, at that point deceased, in the middle of the street. “I have never seen a shark in the middle of the street in Overtown, but nothing surprises me in Miami,” said Jorge Pino of the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. I may have an elevated fear of sharks, but if I found myself in a line of work where encountering a shark in the middle of the street didn’t phase me, I would be searching for a new occupation significantly further inland. 
• A huge mass of what scientists are calling “goo” was spotted off the coast of Alaska. The sticky blob stretches for miles with many speculating whether it was a byproduct of an oil spill or of organic origins. The amateur cryptozoologist in me hoped this might be an exciting new globster, but test later revealed it to be an unusual algae bloom. At least it quelled the fear that discarded remnants of Nickolodeon Gak had gained sentience.
• Squid attacks in San Diego are on the rise with an influx of hundreds, if not thousands, of Humboldt squids. Normally found off the coast of Mexico, these 5-foot-long cephalopods are known for their aggressive behavior when feeding. As if a 5-foot-long aggressive squid wasn’t terrifying enough, the Humboldt squid is also know to travel in schools of up to 1,200 and “can skim over the water to escape predators.” On the upside, they are not yet known to possess Miami Metro passes.

Robots! Now more terrifying than ever

• Robotic Technology Inc. recently unveiled the EATR, an autonomous robot capable of sustaining itself on organic matter it would locate in the environment. Many stories about this new device reported that it could consume human remains, making it potentially useful in battlefield situations. The company has since clarified that the EATR is strictly vegetarian and will not be eating corpses. This is of course exactly the press release I would put out if I was in charge of a company that was leading the way in flesh-eating robots. 
• Japan’s National Institute of Advanced Industrial Science and Technology model HRP-4C  appeared at a fashion show modeling a wedding dress. Because, of course, the only thing more terrifying than a flesh-eating robot is commitment. 

Two Stories about Consuming Gasoline in one month? 

• A 36-year-old Australian man burst into flames when police attempted to subdue him with a Taser. The man has apparently been huffing gasoline and the fumes he had absorbed were ignited by the Taser. It’s an extremely unlikely occurrence, but how long before this mechanic turns up in some first-person shooter?
• A 14-year-old boy in Shanghai has been drinking gasoline to emulate his heros, Optimus Prime and Bumblebee of the Transformers. We’d mock the choice of Bumblebee as a hero, but the scarier story is that the kid was doing this for 5 years without his parents’ knowledge. Maybe turn off the *Transformers* and spend some time with your son, folks.

Social Media is Nothing but Trouble

• A tweet complaining about mold in an apartment may cost a Twitter user $50,000 in damages for libel. However, Horizon Realty is really thinking long term here by creating an incident that is receiving national coverage and by issuing a quote saying: “We’re a sue first, ask questions later kind of an organization.” 
• Kelly Hildebrandt found another Kelly Hildebrandt through Facebook, and in a move that will inevitably make the rest of their lives complicated whenever they need to fill out paperwork, they’ve fallen in love and are engaged to marry. One question: who takes whose name?
• A son plotted to kill his adoptive parents with assistance from a friend he met over the Internet. Simple homicide wouldn’t usually merit Daily Doom attention, but in this case the son and his intended partner-in-crime met through a website dedicated to Furries and the reward for carrying out the murder was to be an extreme sex act creepy enough that we’re not going to mention it here.