Short Game Review: Wet

First of all, no, the game is not about porn. Yes, I can see why some of you asked me this already, given the whole “sexy heroine” approach, but this is the kind of sexy heroine who gets bonus points for shooting guys in the junk. If Kill Bill and Grindhouse had a video game, this would be it. In terms of third-person shooter mechanics, it’s basically John Woo’s Stranglehold—jumping, sliding, running against walls, and shoot from two guns in slow-motion—but generally more fun because it’s easier to fire at multiple targets, and it’s even more over the top.

I can see why many critics dismissed it, as it doesn’t really bring much new to the table as a shooter, but it pretty perfectly captures the action B-movie aesthetic it’s shooting for, from an intentionally grainy image (which you can turn off if you prefer) right down to using old drive-in ads for loading screens (which are the best loading screens ever). There are a few really frustrating instant-death scenarios and particularly challenging fights that really hurt the sense of cinematic progression, and the game is pretty short, but overall, it really raised the bar for Jason’s test for worthwhile movies; seeing a protagonist jump from car to car on a highway while shooting people, for instance, is now pretty well covered in games.

The next time I am at your house, I want to see a demonstration of the sexy heroine getting bonus points for shooting guys in the junk.

This can probably be arranged. There’s also a special “stab in the nards with katana” move you can do on people with machine guns.

Jason, I would love for every review you write to begin with a sentence that clears up what the piece of media is not. (It just tickled me to have the review start that way. :) )

I liked the direction Stranglehold was headed but didn’t like the end product. Maybe I should give Wet a try, after all…