Mattel has announced that it will be rereleasing hoverboards in time for 2015, the “future” year in which Back to the Future II took place. The new hoverboard design does not actually hover, however, but “glides” as a concession to parents’ concerns about safety following the “dangerous” design of the original hoverboard.
In our continued charge of giving you the most up to date news on the availability of Hoverboards we thought it important to share with you this video of a working Hoverboard created by French artist Nils Guadagnin. The device uses an electromagnetic system (in the board and the pedestal it is on) combined with a laser system forÂ stabilization.
But really, can you trust him? The man’s a trained actor, people.
As you may know, we here at Doombot occasionally like to check our traffic stats to see what kinds of search terms and referrers are sending people to Doombot. And when we do this, we are especially mindful of those who find their way here in search of information on hoverboards, a topic so important it has earned its own category here. Well, I just thought now would be a good time to check in and let you know how hoverboards figure in our traffic to date.
In the last month, Doombot has been reached via 28 hoverboard-related queries among over 480 visits (approximately 5.8% of visits). This is a slight increase over our lifetime average (since Google Analytics started tracking our traffic), which has recorded over 13,000 visits, with 362 (approximately 2.8%) in search of something related to hoverboards.
The most popular among the hoverboard search queries leading visitors to Doombot are simple permutations of the word “hoverboard” in the singular, plural, and with and without a space or the definite article (47 visits). Runners up include queries asking “how to make” or “how to build” a hoverboard (17 visits), and hoverboard “plans” or “design notes” (11 visits). Dozens of different queries were made in the hopes of confirming that hoverboards are “real” or were actually once manufactured by Mattel, including one visitor wondering “where can I get a hoverboard from Mattel,” and another asking “why Mattel recalled the hoverboard.” Several additional specific queries seeking further information on building or otherwise acquiring hoverboards ask “how much hoverboards cost,” “what stores have hoverboards,” “tools to make a hoverboard with magnets,” and “where is the hoverboards build a bear workshop.”
This represents the most recent information available on the status of people seeking hoverboard-related information from Doombot. We hope that this information has been as enlightening for you as it has been for us.
Dan’s recent post on hoverboards, combined with Tony’s recent addition of an entire blog category on cake, has made me realize something: If Doombot is ever to be a destination on the web for hoverboard enthusiasts (as our keyword referrals and 14-page Google position indicate may be our destiny), we need an entire category on hoverboards. So I made that, just now.
Now, on a tangential note, I’d like to tell you about the grassroots campaign to get Nike to mass produce the McFly 2015, also known as the sneakers Michael J. Fox wears in Back to the Future II.
At Online Fandom, Dr. Nancy Baym notes that her earlier post on the shoe was one of her most read posts to date, suggesting that the popularity of hoverboards among internet surfers may well extend to this futuristic shoe. (Perhaps I should retitle this category, “The Year 2015”..?) More recently, she offers an update to comment on how Nike made a shoe sort of like the one in the movie, but not enough like it to appease fans.
Nevertheless, I find this news promising. Sooner or later Nike will move on from these “Hyperdunk” sneakers and get the self-lacing McFly model correct; then, we might see self-drying jackets; and finally, after this, functional hoverboards. Cross your fingers, everybody (for seven years or so, just to be safe).
In our continuing self-appointed duty to bring you all the news that is fit to electronically print about our favorite *cryptotechnological* means of conveyance, I just wanted to point out to you that one lucky person will be able to take home [the actual hoverboard used in *Back to the Future II*](http://gizmodo.com/5026747/hover-boards-holy-grails-and-tie-fighters-fill-hollywood-prop-auctions-geek-memorabilia-motherlode). Along with a handful of other *rare artifacts* such as [*the Holy Fucking Grail*](http://gizmodo.com/photogallery/propauction/1002841456), it’s being auctioned off on July 31st. Granted, you’ll need to pony up $30,000—but come on, I mean, a hoverboard *pays for itself*, amirite?
There’s kind of a cruel bent to this auction. I mean, selling of [C-3PO’s feet](http://gizmodo.com/photogallery/propauction/1002841808)? And what about [Geordi’s visor](http://gizmodo.com/photogallery/propauction/1002841709); how’s the poor guy going to *see*? Why don’t you auction off Stephen Hawking’s *wheelchair* while you’re at it?
Oh man, it’s an embarrassment of riches, though: I mean, [The Rocketeer’s helmet](http://gizmodo.com/photogallery/propauction/1002841566)? [Kirk’s phaser](http://gizmodo.com/photogallery/propauction/1002841731)? A Tusken Raider costume from…*Attack of the Clones*? Ew. *Lame*.
Unfortunately, I suspect I’ll be missing the event, as I’ll be busy helping [some *jackass*](http://doombot.com/author/jason/) unload his moving van. But if anybody is looking for something to commemorate a certain blog’s upcoming [fifth anniversary](http://doombot.com/2003/) (hiatuses not included), well, I’m just *sayin’*.
Researchers at Cornell University—my alma mater, no less!—have apparently managed to pair superconductors with magnets in order to make hovering vehicles theoretically possible. Of course, science is not without its catches: in order for this to work, the temperature needs to be under -300°F. If you’re wondering, the coldest temperature ever measured on Earth was apparently -129°F, so seriously, people: it’s time we start doing something about this global warming shit. If we keep going the way we are now, we’ll never have hover vehicles. Then what will you tell your children? “Sorry Bobby, but because I couldn’t go without driving my Hummer to the corner store, you can’t have a hoverboard for Christmas. Because they don’t exist.” I hope you enjoy having your children grow up hating you with every fiber of their being.
Anyway, if I can earmark my donation for hoverboard research, I might actually consider giving money to my college for once. Let’s see: I’ve got about two dollars in change in my pocket…and some lint. I expect return on my investment. You’ve got seven years.
I tried installing Google Analytics on Doombot’s front page so we could get a sense of who’s actually reading the site. I’ll be honest: I probably failed. Our hosting company provides software to keep track of page requests, but it doesn’t really track unique visitors, and the page requests are really dominated by spam bots. I will say, however, that it is totally awesome to see which search terms bring people here:
Listing the top 20 queries by the number of requests, sorted by the number of requests.
#reqs search term
9 hover board
6 firefly online game
4 innocent prey
4 how to build a hoverboard
3 enoch root
3 wii help cat
3 the wire hbo
3 mattel hoverboard
3 gears of war short
3 what makes a good game
2 duck billed platypus mammals
2 built by wendy kathleen hanna
2 sukia tercer sexo review -amazon
2 phentermine online site:www.thephenterminepharmacy.com
2 gears of war water polo sharks
2 hbo wire
Dan probably didn’t realize that this post would be such an online sensation, but apparently the netizens need their hoverboards. I’m especially proud that we came up for “what makes a good game” and “sukia tercer sexo review” (without those dirty, dirty Amazon results), and I hope our writings on these matters have been helpful for you intrepid searchers.
Also, I have absolutely no idea who was searching for Gears of War and Water Polo Sharks at the same time, but I must admit that I’m impressed that we were able to accommodate you.
After much delay, here is the next installment in your increasingly un-daily Daily Doom:
- Want to feel great about life? Then don’t read this amazing report from Wired about the still active Soviet nuclearÂ countermeasureÂ system Perimeterâ€”or, as it was more often known,Â Dead Hand. (The name choice once again reminds us that the Soviet military’s main failure was one of branding.) Perimeter is designed to launch anÂ automaticÂ nuclear attack on the US should the USSR be hit with aÂ surpriseÂ attack. Of course the creators of Perimeter fell victim to a common blunder suffered by many who control doomsday devices: they’re only really effective as preventative weapons if you tell all your enemies about them. Secret doomsday devices, on the other hand, are just fucking terrifying.
- “Let pandas die out,” says naturalist Chris Packham. He argues the resources we are dedicating to save pandas would be better spent on less adorable creatures that have some chance at survival without constant human intervention. Packham happens to be president of Britain’s Bat Conservation Trust, where he is dedicated to preserving only the ugliest of bats.
Exotic New Products from our Corporate Overlords:
- Kentucky Fried Chicken introduces the new “double down” sandwich, a creation which abandons the traditional sandwich approach of using bread for, uh, bread, in favor of placing bacon and cheese between two pieces of fried chicken.Â Somewhere the Earl of Sandwich is rolling over in his grave as a result of a massive coronary.
- Raytheon has long been developing Silent Guardian, a pain ray intended forÂ militaryÂ use in crowd control situation, but as of last month they’ve made their first commercial sale to a private customer. For now the several million dollar price tag will keep this out of the hands of most crazies, because it’s not like privateÂ contractorsÂ would ever misuse military-grade hardware.Â
NASA’s Latest Research
- NASA may fall short on its goal to track 90% of potential doomsday asteroids by 2020, citing a need for additional funding. This goal was set by a 2005 directive fromÂ congressÂ that all near-Earth objects 140 meters or greater in diameter be cataloged. The report on whatÂ exactlyÂ NASA would do if we found a world-threatening object hurtling in our direction has yet to be released, but sources say Bruce Willis is on speed dial.
- While NASA’s end-of-the-world-scenario-detection research isn’t doing so great, they have made bold steps forward in hoverboard technology by creating a magnetic field strong enough to levitate lab mice. Man, lab mice get to have all the fun.
Crimes ForeignÂ and Domestic
- Italian Police have seized a crocodile from a mafia boss who allegedly used it for purposes of intimidation in protection rackets. No weapons were found in the search of theÂ Mafioso’sÂ villa, but how many weapons do you need on hand when you’ve got a crocodile living on your terrace?Â
- A recent study has shown that 90% of US bills have traces ofÂ cocaineÂ on them, with 100% of bills in majorÂ citiesÂ testing positive for the drug. Compared to other foreign currencies, the US shows the highest amount of drug traces on our money, but in our defense it isn’t that everyone in the US is snorting cocaine through their money, justÂ enoughÂ so that those people’s money has enough cocaine on it to rub off on everyone else’s moneyâ€¦Â