A Winner Is Not Me

Continuing my fine tradition of only posting when I’ve created an embarrassing video for a video game-related contest (in this case, for a trip to E3 sponsored by 1up.com), I submit to you the following:

This entry did not win. This entry won. To be fair, Mr. McWinnerson had a precocious child, a mushroom costume, and public shenanigans. But then I’m pretty sure that I missed the finalists selection either because I violated the rules of the contest by using images that I didn’t have rights to, or because my video was in a page linked to from an otherwise sparse and unpersuasive blog post that was probably supposed to be the heart of the entry. Or because the video itself wasn’t available until the day after the contest ended. Psh, details.

Regardless, we all win when I make a fool of myself on the internet. Except for me. I remain a big, stinky loser who isn’t going to E3, and even worse, who just ate soap because he didn’t rinse his lunch bowl out well enough.

The Shit I Do For Beer

To quote Jason (who was, in turn, quoting THE FUTURE):

I made this for this.

He said he’d buy me a beer if I posted this. Don’t let him feel like he won. Tell him to buy me a whole pitcher.

PS: Jason always complains about the stuff that shows up when he gets Googled. Jason [CENSORED]. Jason [CENSORED]. Jason [CENSORED]. Take that.