If you’re like me you’ve got a lot of hate and anger to share with the world, and nothing throws up a road block on that hatred like a dearth of derogatory term for the people that anger you. One such group that I don’t particularly hate, but that I see as a prime target as we transition into a dystopian future, is scientists. Sure you can call them eggheads or lab monkey but I need something I can say with a bit more vitriol, something monosyllabic you can kinda say while spitting. 

Thus, after extensive testing in the field I suggest we popularize the term “squint.” Examples: “My plasma rifle is on the fritz again, good for nothing squints can’t keep anything running.” “Hey squint, get back in your lab and fix this global warming.” 

I’d like to think that supplying you with derogatory terms you didn’t even know you needed is the kind of  blue sky solutioneering you can count on from the Doombot brand.

They were out of my standard taco kit at the supermarket so I selected the “Stand ‘n Stuff” alternative taco shells. As I was preparing these I quickly noticed that though these hold more taco materials, perhaps they were not the best shape for eating. They looked aesthetically pleasing standing there filled with meat, beans, cheese and lettuce, but would they function well for the primary task tacos are charged with? Was this the future or simply the taco as designed by a committee?

In the end it all worked out and tacos were eaten but I’m not sure I’d buy them again. It is unclear if the world is really crying out for innovation in taco cartridge formats.

People keep referencing this in front of friends I’ve forgotten to send a link to. Now it is on Doombot and I can’t be held responsible. My first YouTube video:

I would like football better if more teams abandoned repetitive, predictable plays in favor of zany carnage backed up by solid math. (Link via The Morning News.)

It is hard to get precise matches for some features in the manga face generator everybody on Twitter seems so excited about. Hair is troublesome, and the female presets seem glitchy, with items missing. Nevertheless, my girlfriend seems confident that this image accurately represents the vastness of my nose (and the little lines around it).

I enjoyed this New York Times essay by David Brooks about showing off your cultural superiority via one-upmanship. Most importantly:

“…in order to cement your status in the cultural elite, you want to be already sick of everything no one else has even heard of.”

Somehow I can never quite manage this, but I vow to work harder in the future. In unrelated news: I am so sick of that little kid next door—her paintings are derivative and her singing is uninspired. Lame.

I almost forgot to link to this excellent story (via Boing Boing):

Public schools in Barnegat were locked down briefly after someone reported seeing a ninja running through the woods behind an elementary school. Turns out the ninja was actually a camp counselor dressed in black karate garb and carrying a plastic sword. Police tell the Asbury Park Press the man was late to a costume-themed day at a nearby middle school.

Beautiful.

And as long as we’re talking ninjas, I highly recommend a short video up at ONN, “Ninja parade slips through town unnoticed once again.”

From: bromee
Subject: Steve Jobs is not cancer-free

Boy eats cats daily
[URL redacted]

(I just don’t know…does eating cats give you cancer? Cure your cancer? Who clicks on a link about eating cats? Don’t they know Steve Jobs is a pescetarian? What does this have to do with the iPhone? Anything?)

New strain of AIDS
Cure for AIDS officially announced
Michael Jackson auctions himself on Ebay!
Mccain sex tape surfaces
Fox Mulder no longer attractive
Jesus Christ to star in next series of Big Brother

I’m not entirely sure that it’s advisable–much less practical–to write an entire blog post from my iPhone, but given that Automattic has released a WordPress application via the App Store it’s certainly possible.

Of course one of the major problems is that with the iPhone’s lack of copy-and-paste support, it’s really hard to put links in (hence why I didn’t give a URL for the WordPress app). As far as typing goes, the iPhone’s keyboard actually isn’t too bad, especially when you learn to trust the auto-correct. I do find, however, that my writing feels less fluid, because I can’t type as fast as I think and because I often have to go back and fix typos (I will add–only partially as an excuse to try editing a post on the iPhone–that this experience would be unbearable without the ability to use Markdown; it goes with mobile blogging like Lost goes with existential headaches).

That said, I could see this as a good way to post something about an event or a way to capture a live experience. You can even embed (no, iPhone, I did not mean to type “elves”) photos, which is pretty cool.

The interface needs a little work though. I kept finding myself tapping the wrong field by accident, and the category interface could be a little stronger, as could the photo features. But for a first version, not too shabby. As always, the future is almost here.