Blogging, to go

I’m not entirely sure that it’s advisable–much less *practical*–to write an entire blog post from my iPhone, but given that Automattic has released a WordPress application via the App Store it’s certainly possible.

Of course one of the major problems is that with the iPhone’s lack of copy-and-paste support, it’s really hard to put links in (hence why I didn’t give a URL for the WordPress app). As far as typing goes, the iPhone’s keyboard actually isn’t too bad, especially when you learn to trust the auto-correct. I do find, however, that my writing feels less fluid, because I can’t type as fast as I think and because I often have to go back and fix typos (I will add–only partially as an excuse to try editing a post on the iPhone–that this experience would be *unbearable* without the ability to use Markdown; it goes with mobile blogging like *Lost* goes with existential headaches).

That said, I could see this as a good way to post something about an event or a way to capture a live experience. You can even embed (no, iPhone, I did not mean to type “elves”) photos, which is pretty cool.

The interface needs a little work though. I kept finding myself tapping the wrong field by accident, and the category interface could be a little stronger, as could the photo features. But for a first version, not too shabby. As always, the future is almost here.

photo

Jokes for Chimps and Soviets

Interesting Salon interview with the author of a book on the history and philosophy of jokes (via The Morning News).

The hoverboard can be yours…if the price is right

In our continuing self-appointed duty to bring you all the news that is fit to electronically print about our favorite *cryptotechnological* means of conveyance, I just wanted to point out to you that one lucky person will be able to take home [the actual hoverboard used in *Back to the Future II*](http://gizmodo.com/5026747/hover-boards-holy-grails-and-tie-fighters-fill-hollywood-prop-auctions-geek-memorabilia-motherlode). Along with a handful of other *rare artifacts* such as [*the Holy Fucking Grail*](http://gizmodo.com/photogallery/propauction/1002841456), it’s being auctioned off on July 31st. Granted, you’ll need to pony up $30,000—but come on, I mean, a hoverboard *pays for itself*, amirite?

There’s kind of a cruel bent to this auction. I mean, selling of [C-3PO’s feet](http://gizmodo.com/photogallery/propauction/1002841808)? And what about [Geordi’s visor](http://gizmodo.com/photogallery/propauction/1002841709); how’s the poor guy going to *see*? Why don’t you auction off Stephen Hawking’s *wheelchair* while you’re at it?

Oh man, it’s an embarrassment of riches, though: I mean, [The Rocketeer’s helmet](http://gizmodo.com/photogallery/propauction/1002841566)? [Kirk’s phaser](http://gizmodo.com/photogallery/propauction/1002841731)? A Tusken Raider costume from…*Attack of the Clones*? Ew. *Lame*.

Unfortunately, I suspect I’ll be missing the event, as I’ll be busy helping [some *jackass*](http://doombot.com/author/jason/) unload his moving van. But if anybody is looking for something to commemorate a certain blog’s upcoming [fifth anniversary](http://doombot.com/2003/) (hiatuses not included), well, I’m just *sayin’*.

27 Bonus Laws of Robotics

Something Awful offers a fuller list expanding on Asimov’s three laws of robotics (not to be confused with Ellis’s revisionary three laws). Sample laws include:

10. A robot, when given contradictory orders by two human beings, and assuming those orders do not violate the First Law, must decide which order to follow based on which human being has a deeper voice.

18. A robot must be very careful when tickling a human being, because a robot does not know what it is like to be tickled, and therefore cannot safely apprehend when it is no longer funny and it starts to become cruel.

23. A robot must shut up around girls and let me, Isaac Asimov, do the talking; however, a robot may bail me out if things start to go haywire.

(Link via Boing Boing.)

The Drunken Patient

I went to the dentist the other day for a root canal and a filling. The cavity that I got the filling for was so deep (that is, close to the nerve) that they prescribed me penicillin to make sure we took care of any infection that might have found its way in through the tooth decay. This led to something of a quandary, however: Was I allowed to drink tonight, at my weekly bar night, while on antibiotics?

Being in my twenties, I decided that I may not be entitled to the same foolish notions of immortality common to teenagers, but I believe I’m close enough to justify feeling nigh-invulnerable. So, I had some beer first, then came home slightly tipsy, and then checked the internet to see whether I was going to die.

Good news! I should be fine. However, it was difficult to find a source that sounded even semi-reputable from mere googling. You see, when you search for “penicillin” and “alcohol,” you get some folks saying it’s a bad combo, and others saying it’s fine, but the top results are still random strangers on the internet more often than, you know, doctors (who presumably still use telegraphs and smoke signals as their preferred means of communication). Moreover, the top sites for answering questions along these lines seem to be the kind of sites where someone asks a question and then everybody votes for a favorite answer. I appreciate that two Yahoo! Answers readers took the time to vote on which answer seemed most plausible (or at least desirable) to them, but I’m nervous about accepting medical advice from someone identified only by the email address “cute_blondie_angel@yahoo.com.”

That’s not to say that this isn’t good advice, of course, or that the cute and blonde are incapable of dispensing useful medical wisdom. After all, it seems that cute_blondie_angel actually is training to be a prenatal doctor. I mean, I guess you could say she “claims to be” training, but that seems like a weirdly specific thing to claim. Moreover, one could make the argument that she’s no less authoritative than the (supposed!) transcript from a TV show I first linked to as somehow acceptably convincing.

In conclusion, the internet may or may not be full of lies, but I’ll forgive it as long as it offers semi-convincing packaging for the lies I prefer to hear.

Wow

People responded a little too favorably to flipsiding for it to be very useful as an alternative to Rickrolling. I mean, heck, I knew I adored the Kidd Video theme song (“Video to Radio,” now the #1 Google result for “flipsiding”), but how could I have known that you lovable denizens of the intertron agreed with me?

And heck, even Rickrolling seems a little too good-natured to work as a prank, as far as I’m concerned. It’s like sending someone a postcard that’s secretly a candygram. In the tradition of pranks and jokes I grew up with, however, you send a candygram filled with black ink or electric eels. Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down? Enough of this touchy-feely BS.

Thus, in an attempt to effect more mischief, I have uploaded to YouTube the most heinous music video I have ever witnessed in my entire life. When I confronted this … this … thing with my comrades, I was overtaken by a sudden sense of illness. Dan was forced to shield his eyes. I think Tony blacked out the memory of the experience entirely. Its evil is so thick and viscous that I dare not even allow its name to ooze from my mouth. Let’s just say that witnessing this Lovecraftian spectacle, in a darkened room surrounded by parents and their innocent babes, made me fear the prospect of ever bringing a son or daughter of my own into a world where such a thing could be created.

Use this with extreme caution, and may God have mercy on my soul.

Our Shadowy Masters

GOOD Magazine offers a guide to the secret organizations that rule the world, including all your favorite hits from yesteryear:

  • The Freemasons
  • The Trilateral Commission
  • The Order of Skull and Bones

… And more! (Bavarian Illuminati not included. This link brought to you by Boing Boing.)

How to Nap

A useful cheat-sheet from the Boston Globe.

How to Make Fight Scenes Better

Put lightsabers in them. (A top ten list on Videogum, link via Boing Boing.)

Sans Serif Cat Faces

Jason and Kai discuss Hello Kitty for Men (link via Boing Boing).

Jason: I hate to say it, but I actually kind of like those shirts

» they figured out my whole gender! dark colors, sans serif cat faces.

Kai: Um, I was kind of okay with Hello Kitty already, for the most part

» I mean, not really complaining about the new stuff

Jason: you also wear women’s pants you bought at good will

» and multiple articles of clothing with unicorns

Kai: Yeah, when you look at the other pieces in the puzzle, I guess that one makes sense

Jason: I think they are looking to broaden their market beyond people who already have real style

» so as now to include people like me, who want sans serif cat faces.

» … that is remarkably close to “sans serif cat feces”

» in fact, that’s what I see every time I look at it

» I can’t see the word “faces” after “cat” without assuming defecation is somehow involved