Reflecting on Half-Assed Halloween Costumes

This Halloween, I dressed up as Peter Parker, Spider-man’s secret identity. This is admittedly a pretty half-assed costume. All I did was buy a Spider-man t-shirt and wear it under a half-buttoned white shirt (yes, with pants etc.). I reused the plastic reading glasses frames purchased for my astonishingly similar costume from last year, when I went to a costume party as Clark Kent. This costume was even easier than the last one, as Peter Parker is less known for wearing suits, being more of a casual sort of guy.

I did hit one hitch, though: I have a beard, and Peter Parker does not. I had planned to shave my beard for a more authentic Pete, but when the day finally came, I was much too busy, sorely lacking in shaving cream, and wondering if it would grow back in time for the conference I’m attending in a couple weeks. I decided to just leave it be and continue on with my day.

Fortunately, the Marvel Universe has got me covered. I figured that sometime in the last 40+ years, Parker must have grown a beard, right? So I googled around and, well, no, it looks like he hasn’t—except for in alternate realities! Thank goodness there’s a parallel universe out there somewhere where all the Avengers have beards. Nobody really called me on it anyway, though.