Derogatory terms for Scientists?

If you’re like me you’ve got a lot of hate and anger to share with the world, and nothing throws up a road block on that hatred like a dearth of derogatory term for the people that anger you. One such group that I don’t particularly hate, but that I see as a prime target as we transition into a dystopian future, is scientists. Sure you can call them eggheads or lab monkey but I need something I can say with a bit more vitriol, something monosyllabic you can kinda say while spitting. 

Thus, after extensive testing in the field I suggest we popularize the term “squint.” Examples: “My plasma rifle is on the fritz again, good for nothing squints can’t keep anything running.” “Hey squint, get back in your lab and fix this global warming.” 

I’d like to think that supplying you with derogatory terms you didn’t even know you needed is the kind of  blue sky solutioneering you can count on from the Doombot brand.

As it was I who suggested the term to use, I feel obligated to point out that I first encountered it on the television show Bones, where it’s used by David Boreanaz’s character, Special Agent Seeley Booth.

I thought it was Jason who started this conversation.

Be careful what you wish for though. Any term you coin now will soon be on the lips of our (least) favorite politicians.

Nope, I had nothing to do with your vicious slurs. I respect and admire scientists. They are the new clergy of the 21st century society—keepers of the knowledge that guides us, and, in some cases, similarly charming in their naive self-certainty.

But as long as we’re on the subject, no group is truly legitimate until it has at least two slurs (one of which should sound somewhat dated and easier to “reclaim” by the denigrated group). I suggest “tubers” (a quaint reference to test tubes, all the more revealing of bigoted ignorance for failing to recognize that not all scientists, in fact, use test tubes).

I thought librarians were “the new clergy of the 21st century society—keepers of the knowledge” etc.

Oh. Maybe scientists are the new magicians, then..?

  1. Dan’s assertion is backed up by urban dictionary.

  2. “tuber” has the nice double entendre of being “one who makes use of a series of tubes, i.e. the internet”. So it plays off the stereotype that scientists are all internet junkies.

  3. Maybe scientists are more janitors than clergy or magicians.

Could take a page from the British:

Wow, boffin, that works pretty well.

Good show sir,

wot wot

Wait a minute… Isn’t “scientist” already a derogatory term? You know, like “liberal” or “educated”.